Honesty matters to me. A lot.
You'll hear me talk about freedom a lot and I think that honesty and freedom go hand-in-hand. To be free of the burden of carrying lies or dishonesty is important to a good life.
I don't often lie-- I'm human and slip up sometimes-- but I do find myself lying by omission a lot. It feels like it is necessary in the moment but pretty soon afterwards it just feels wrong.
There's a different kind of dishonesty too I'd like to talk about here. That's putting out one kind of messaging publicly and then living a different life in reality. I try REALLY hard not to do that. Radical transparency is one of my guiding philosophies.
About two weeks ago I was interviewed for this great podcast. I talked about working through mental illness while trying to run a business. A lot of the conversation revolved around sobriety. It was a great interview and I left Peggy's office feeling in high spirits.
Hours later a series of events out of my control happened that I allowed to completely derail me emotionally. I had bought a bottle of wine to share with a girl... even though I knew I shouldn't. Well that girl and I didn't end up hanging out so I went out to a friend's party and drank that bottle by myself. Then drank some more.
Then the podcast came out the next week and I've had this "off" feeling ever since. It felt dishonest to be sharing it without the disclaimer that immediately after recording that interview I fell into the very traps I talk about on the episode.
So that's all this post is about.
Coming clean about that.
I really hope you give the episode a listen because it is one of the best interviews I've had the pleasure of recording to date. But go into it knowing that I'm very much still struggling with the issues I talk about in the episode.
*I was sober for 13 days when I wrote this, but drank last night. Not a lot, but still... controlling this human is hard sometimes...
You can listen to it right here:
And here's a little video clip from a small segment: